I swear I must have eaten 1000 calories worth of chocolate today. The worst part is that it was only one bunny. One big ass freaking chocolate bunny that my uncle gave me. I think everyone's trying to make me fatter, and it almost seems like it's working. I recently got back from vacation where I gained 2 pounds in a week and then the weekend I get back I'm showered with delicious sweets. Chocolate is so hard to resist... I didn't eat anything but that and a few chips today. Junk leads to other junk. FML. Ok, ok. It's April 1st. This month I will change my lifestyle for good. I need to stop eating all of this crap! I'm going to start going on the treadmill in my basement again and stick to a custom workout plan. Also a diet I made myself. If anyone wants I'll post it soon. Well, I hope your guys' Easters were nice. :) Stay strong and get skinny! Don't be a fatty like me.
Attatched is a diet plan I made myself. It's quite unhealthy, as it's normally a very low calorie intake, but if you'd like to try it out feel free! I originally created this for my best friend and I to do together but got sidetracked and started slipping back into my fat-ass old ways. I'm ready to start it up again though! :) Please, join me. I specifically made the weekends a higher calorie intake because I have to have dinner at my Grandma's house almost every Sunday. And you know, just to slack off a bit. ;) Paired with a good amount of exercise and lots of water, I think this is a great calorie goal. It's a word document, I apologize, I couldn't find any other way to show you guys. But hey, maybe you can print a copy for yourself! P.S. I download custom fonts, so it's very likely that they won't work with your computer. Other than that I believe that it should all be fine.
"My Friend ED" is basically just personifying my eating disorder. I got the idea from the movie Hunger Point (which was actually really lame). Sometimes I enjoy the fact that I have lost almost 30 pounds due to this, but other times I just hate it. Living with these constant thoughts in your head is awful. It's all FAT FAT FAT and CALORIES CALORIES CALORIES. Which days should I fast? And to purge or not to purge? You guys know what I mean. Everything sucks. Yet still... It works to lose weight. Not to mention that I feel better after purging... I have a love/hate relationship with ED.
Fucking hell, I want to escape my own mind. If you've looked at the "Going Too Far" page, you'll probably think I'm sort of a hypocrate. I've had bulimia for about 2 years now. I don't talk about it much with my friends but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Most bulimics are actually known to maintain their weight, or actually be overweight. It affects your weight in much different ways than anorexia. I'll fast, sometimes entire weeks if I can, and then once I stop I end up binging and purging. I'll purge even when i don't binge. I usually eat a light breakfast, no lunch, and then I purge dinner because I'm almost in a way forced to eat it because I'm a teen and still with my parents. I want this blog to be the cold hard truth of how having this ED has affected my life. I'll try to tell you guys everything. I know many of you can relate and I just really want this to be a nice down-to-earth environment for all of you girls. Hope you guys enjoy the ramblings of a psychotic bitch!!
❤, Rachel |